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The current period signifies a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. At the time, the concept that someone could abruptly cease all contact with a lover without any notice seemed like the height of indignity. We were so innocent. In the ten-year span since, finding a mate has only become more perplexing – an oftentimes unsuccessful endeavor in awkwardness that is increasingly shaped by social media lingo.

Gen Z, a demographic who grew up during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity crisis, and a coordinated assault on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a infinitely more complex landscape than their millennial predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more bizarre, with terms like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the limits of your sanity.

What follows is a detailed guide to the phrases Zoomers is using to navigate romance, sex and the quest of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular memes, by the conclusion of this list you’ll long to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – According to gen Z, romance's gold standard is showing up as your true, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend inspired by a methodology developed by relationship scientists, in which you mention something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and note whether your date's response is interested or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend puts herself first while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She could possibly have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Support test – This refers to going for someone who helps you proactively. If you entered a room, they would fetch a chair for you to take a load off.

Task-based bonding – A date where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as walking the dog or food shopping. In other words, how broke young adults do affordable dating in a post-cheap-date world.

Crashing out – Having a breakdown when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, venting all of your (unrequited) feelings.

D

Dink – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 1980s yuppie affluence, it refers to pairs who choose against having children to prioritize their own well-being. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The opposite of being guarded: utilizing communication, honesty and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Warning signs – Behavioral quirks signaling a potential partner is bad news. For instance calling their exes unstable, poor tipping habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your choice to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These usually describe niche, mostly inoffensive quirks. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still keeping a biro in their bag, paying rent in physical money …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as enthusiastic about documentaries about the WWII or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, finding someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who reappears into your life after a period of disappearing.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so obsessed with masturbation that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully postponing orgasm so they can persist as long as possible.

The Letter H

Heterofatalism – A mindset describing many women’s increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An stereotype championed by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no aspirations of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Arbitrary and often mundane repulsions that instantly extinguish any sense of desire.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful act.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, Republican-coded guy who will provide (there’s a hit TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in sectors they perceive as being staffed by the more caring among us: nurses, teachers or counselors.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that kissing has been around for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {